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Mary Lowe is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She
received her degree from Seton Hall University and was licensed by the
State of New Jersey in 1993. She is a clinical member of the American
Association of Marriage & Family Therapists (AAMFT). Her practice is devoted
to Marriage & Family; children; stress reduction; bereavement; ACOA (adult
children of alcoholics); sexual abuse survivors, trauma survivors. Mary
also is a seminar and workshop presenter on many topics, from family to
work related issues and self improvement. Mary can be reached at 201-384-6454
or 201-440-7945. |
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Dealing with Grief
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| What is grief? |
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| Grief is the normal response of
sorrow, emotion, and confusion that comes from losing someone or
something important to you. It is a natural part of life. Grief
is a typical reaction to death, divorce, job loss, a move away from
family and friends, or loss of good health due to illness. |
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| How does grief feel? |
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| Just after a death or loss, you
may feel empty and numb, as if you are in shock. You may notice
physical changes such as trembling, nausea, trouble breathing, muscle
weakness, dry mouth, or trouble sleeping and eating. You may become
angry - at a situation, a particular person, or just angry in general.
Almost everyone in grief also experiences guilt. Guilt is often
expressed as "I could have, I should have, and I wish I would have"
statements. People in grief may have strange dreams or nightmares,
be absent-minded, withdraw socially, or lack the desire to return
to work. While these feelings and behaviors are normal during grief,
they will pass. |
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| How long does grief last? |
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| Grief lasts as long as it takes
you to accept and learn to live with your loss. For some people,
grief lasts a few months. For others, grieving may take years. The
length of time spent grieving is different for each person. There
are many reasons for the differences, including personality, health,
coping style, culture, family background, and life experiences.
The time spent grieving also depends on your relationship with the
person lost and how prepared you were for the loss. |
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| How will I know when I'm done
grieving? |
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| Every person who experiences a death
or other loss must complete a four-step grieving process. (1) Accept
the loss; (2) Work through and feel the physical and emotional pain
of grief; (3) Adjust to living in a world without the person or
item lost; and (4) Move on with life. The grieving process is over
only when a person completes the four steps. |
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| How does grief differ from depression?
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Online Resources |
| Depression is more than a feeling
of grief after losing someone or something you love.Clinical depression
is a whole body disorder. It can take over the way you think and
feel. Symptoms of depression include: --A sad, anxious, or "empty"
mood that won't go away; --Loss of interest in what you used to
enjoy; --Low energy, fatigue, feeling "slowed down;" --Changes in
sleep patterns; --Loss of appetite, weight loss, or weight gain;
--Trouble concentrating, remembering, or making decisions; --Feeling
hopeless or gloomy; --Feeling guilty, worthless, or helpless; --Thoughts
of death or suicide or a suicide attempt; and --Recurring aches
and pains that don't respond to treatment. (Taken from Knowledge
Exchange Network (KEN)) If you recently experienced a death or other
loss, these feelings may be part of a normal grief reaction. But
if these feelings persist with no lifting mood, ask for help. |
Grief
Net
A web site that provides information and resources
related to death, dying, bereavement, and major emotional and
physical losses.
centering.org
An online Resource Center for those Grieving
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Where can
I find help? |
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Compassionate Friends - 201-567-0089 -
For the loss of a child, grandchild, or sibling.
Bereavement Support Groups - Holy Name Hospital - 201-833-3740
Englewood Hospital - 201-541-2677
Paramus - New Start - 201-291-6243
Journies - Children - Adults - 201-291-6243
Allendale Teen Bereavement - Safe Space - 201-327-2424
A Resource Center for The Grieving: Centering.org |
Grief Recovery
Institute
P.O. Box 461659
Los Angeles, CA 90046-1659
213-650-1234 or 800-445-4808 (hotline hours:
M-F 8:00a.m. - 5:00p.m. PT)
National Grief Recovery Hotline to ease the isolation
of those suffering from a loss and assist them in coping with
grief.
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If you wish to email Mary Lowe privately
click here
Other articles by Mary Lowe:
A National Strategy for Suicide
Prevention
Parenting Tips
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