Making Peace at Home: A Checklist
Our family recognizes that conflict is inevitable:
•We recognize conflict when it happens.
•We acknowledge the conflict.
•We talk about it.
• We figure out what things we can change.
•We figure out what things we cannot change.
•We do something about the problem.
•We apologize to each other—over and over and over again.
Our family seeks solutions rather than trying to find someone to blame.
• We acknowledge the hurt.
•We offer support and encouragement to each other.
•We work to find solutions to the problem.
•We believe that figuring out who is to blame is a waste of time and energy.
• Sometimes we find family meetings effective in straightening out our conflicts.
We are able to tell the difference between the person and his or her behavior.
• We speak out against the hurtful act.
• We are careful not to bruise the person who did the hurtful act.
We know the difference between “excusing” and “forgiving.”
• We excuse the excusable—simple, small accidents.
• We forgive the inexcusable—those times when family members really blow it!
• We know that forgiveness is hard, particularly when someone does something inexcusable.
•But we keep on forgiving!
We celebrate together when there is forgiveness in our family!
• We hug each other, have a special treat, tickle each other—just have a fun time when all is well again.
•We try to do something that lets everyone know that the hurt just isn’t there any more.